so debating and i want help(comment please comment on this one)

So. Have a story i wrote last summer and im debating whether i want to send it to a publisher and the only thing is i stink at proofreading so please if u think i should send it to a publisher or not comment below please i need feedback soon this thing is stuck on my mind and i really want feedback also if u dont mind proofreading let me know and i can hook u up with a piece of my story its called an angels life

updates about one to love two to protect for all to survive

this story is still being written if any of you have not seen pacific rim u would really need to see it before u read this story otherwise u will not have any idea of what the story is about this story has lots of twists and turns but it is overall a very good story it will make you cry and tear up but overall it is an amazing story and i could not have written this one alone i wrote with my boyfriend who has played a major part in the writing of my stories. He is a big support he listens to me rant on and on about them idk many people who can actually listen to that so thank you Dorian i love you. this story will be done and posted by the end of the summer when my senior school year starts my goal is to have this story up and posted by then.

So proud of myself N disliking some teachers!

So just gonna put it out there for those of u who know me i love to write stories my hand hurts so bad right now from writing a cheat sheet paper for one of the hardest tests at school that i will probably not going to be writing for the night so yeah I'm exhausted and i will probably be posting a lot more stories once summer comes to me in two days. one of my teachers does not like my essays even when i give them what i ask so when they say i can use a cheat sheet on their final front and back by freak I'm gonna put every freaking thing on that paper so it looks like u would need a microscope to read it but oh well I'm done finally with it took me three days and 4 hours to finish but its finally done I'm happy now!

The Transformation of Andrei Petram by Bree L Messier and Joei Spero

The Transformation of Andrei Petram

By Joei Spero & Bree Messier

A stick snaps beneath my foot as I run through the slowly blackening forest. I’ve been running far, you almost can’t see the lights of the town a couple miles behind me anymore. That steadily growing pain in my stomach is spreading rapidly throughout the rest of my body. I’m gripping it tightly, hoping it will vanish, but instead my hand begins to convulse with pain.

I’m a regular teenaged boy. I’m in 11^th grade, and my name is Andrei Petram. I take all the usual classes. Today is my 17^th birthday, September 19^th. My parents always forget, so as usual, I will spend my day in the woods. Today is one of the odder days though. I may be turning seventeen, but for the first time in my life, I feel as if I need to run wild, and run free. Harold and Marcia won’t care if I’m gone anyway. They’re my parents you see, but they rarely pay any attention to me. Sometimes, I write a different last name on my papers at school to try and convince people that I’m not related to them. I once broke their bedroom window in defiance against them.

The agony is running rampant through my system. First it was in my shoulder, and it spread further from there. I knew I should’ve seen that doctor when I had the chance. When a bite mark starts turning black and blue, there’s got to be some kind of infection going on there. My hands move all over my body, the pain is surging in too many places for me to handle. It feels as though my arm is going to burst, like that damn mountain at Pompeii. My throat is swelling, I can’t breathe. The world is going dark, and I have a sudden urge to piss on a tree.

I live in Washington State; I can’t remember the name of the town. I usually spent my days wandering through the forest. There’s a nearby national park, my friends and I usually hang out there on the weekends. We don’t go camping or anything like that; we just hike and stroll the waterline. There are some beautiful sights to see there. I’ll be sure to appreciate it more if I survive this. Come to think of it, that was where I first met both of my friends. Ewan Houser; such a simple boy he is. Sometimes I feel like he takes advantage of me, but the torment is mutual. I met him when my family went out to the park for the first time; I think it’s called Norman’s National Reserve. I’m probably wrong about that though. I remember it now, I was about to go on a canoe ride with Harold and some canoe-guide-guy. His name escapes me at the moment. Ewan stole my paddle, and I was literally up the river without a paddle. How he stole it in the middle of the venture I’m not sure. Perhaps it’s best I don’t know. We got into a bit of a tussle as soon as we got back to shore. How we became friends after that…? Truthfully, I can’t remember that either. What’s happening to my memories?

I stare up at the moon, it’s full. Coincidence? No way, this can’t be what I think it is. I feel urine trickle down my pants, and my veins are tightening. It’s like when sheets are all wrinkly and you pull them to try and straighten them. Blood is rushing throughout my neck, it’s like a hot needle is being jabbed into my jugular. My mouth opens to scream, but a howl comes out.

My other best friend is Lila, but what’s her last name? She…she…ran over to me one summer evening. Yeah, her family was camping…or was it just visiting? Lila asked me to join in on her family game of Frisbee. I think I caught it, and that impressed her. She had a large dog with her, a German Shepard maybe? His name was Bruno. Okay, I remember now. Bruno caught the Frisbee, and that’s what impressed Lila. It impressed her because I threw the Frisbee and Bruno caught, but he tackled me afterwards. He started licking my face, but dogs have slimy tongues. I threw dirt in Lila’s face and ran away after she laughed at me for it. She was about to leave and I walked up to her and apologized for what I did. She pecked me on the cheek and she left. I was left standing there, blushing...or was I vomiting?

It feels like a knife has been taken to my ear. With dwindling strength, I reached up and feel my listening tool, it’s morphing to a point. My hearing is increasing dramatically, I can hear a campfire crackling in the distance, and I hear a fly buzzing towards me from two miles away. My sight is changing, the sky is turning gray, and my hands are turning white. I’m choking on nothing, breathing raspy and in spurts like I was hammered on the back by a mallet. No, I’m not breathing, I’m growling. I’m angry, I want to hunt, I want to run even more than before. My head snaps to the side and I collapse. My back arcs and my torso bends towards the sky and another howl is birthed from my throat. My nails are growing in length, not nails, claws. Someone is driving a javelin through my spine, I’m sure. What else could cause this torture?

I was walking through Norman’s with Ewan and Lila a couple days ago, but we got separated. How? Night fell before I found my way back to the hiking trail, but I heard something moving around in the blackness. The wind was swaying, like it was beckoning me to follow it a certain direction. I turned my back for one second and I heard a branch snap behind me. Leaves rustled, and then there was monstrous panting, like an Olympic sprinter after a four-hundred meter dash. Daggers sunk into my shoulder, the right one to be exact, that much I remember. Part of my flesh was tore from my body, like pulling apart Play-Doh. My blood soared in front of my eyes like it had a doctor’s appointment. There was no pain at this point; I was too scared and shocked for that. That was probably because I can’t recall what bit me. My entire brain is failing me, why is this happening?

My head jerked to the other side now, my neck feels like it has more hair on it than it did before. Feeling it, it can’t be hair, it’s too smooth. Fur! I’m growing fur? Humans don’t grow fur. My legs are being stretched by someone, elongated into a desired shape. I feel a pounding in my chest, like I’m bench pressing something far out of my weight class. My chest is expanding! I’m coughing up blood. Or is it saliva? Or a mix of the two? My tongue is recoiling back into my mouth, and it’s falling still. The trees are enclosing in around me, like black walls of a high security prison. They’re getting closer, get away! I’m not an animal; I’m a member of the human race! Air is cut off from my lungs, if I even have lungs anymore. My vision is starting to blur, I can’t see anything. Ewan, Lila…help…me…

Who would care if I die? Harold and Marcia never pay any attention to me anyway. I have a few teachers that would miss me. Mrs. York might care; she says I’m one of her best math students. I don’t really like Mathematics, but I’m good at it, so that’s a plus. I think I had to help Ewan with his homework at some point. Lila was the scientist between the three of us. She’s really smart, and pretty. Smart, pretty…? Lila! That’s right...I was going to ask you out tomorrow! We’ve been friends forever, and I trust her more than anyone! I’ve been meaning to ask you sooner, but I got into a terrible argument with my folks yesterday. What did we fight about? Lila…run…I don’t want to hurt you…something has happened to me. What bit me?

I’m alright? I shake my head, but I feel buffaloed for some reason. I scrape my fingers against the coarse ground. No, not fingers anymore, they’re still claws. I have a tail now, and I feel like I have a large build. I feel strong, and powerful. I feel like I could kill someone. I want to kill someone; or at the very least something. I still hear that damned fire crackling off in the distance. Maybe I could hunt those unlucky campers? They’d be easy prey, I could tear them open like wet paper. I’d feast on their inner bounties. My mouth…jaws…open and a soul-shattering growl escapes. Yes, I’m a monster now. I love this. My urge to kill is growing, I need to hear my prey scream, and I need to watch it squirm. I want to see them try to run in fear. I’ll tear apart the children first, if there are any. Then I’ll go for the women. If there’s a man there, I’ll slaughter his whole family in front of him. He’d like that. But before he thanks me, I’ll gore his chest and devour his heart, whole. Why am I still standing here thinking about this? I can run fast now, on all four of my legs. My fur conceals me in the darkness, and I can hear every move that they make. Trees race by my sides like race cars, I’m practically flying across the rock implanted and moss covered ground. I’ll tear through roots and ravage tree trunks. I hear them laughing, that’ll never do. I see the slow burning light of the fire ahead of me in the dim night; this is going to be euphoric.

The Monsters! By Bree L Messier

Disclaimer: I do not own Pacific rim or any of its ideas or contents. This story is only for the enjoyment of the reader i do not plan to make money off this idea. I do not own the name Marcantross my friend does. I also do not own any of the pictures i found them on google.                                                       
                                                              
Main Character: Seralla

 






                                                                 
                                                          
Brother 1:Stinger

Brother 2: Claw Ripper

 Sister 1:Marcantross

Sister 2: Minya

                                                                    The Monsters       
                                                                By Bree L Messier
      I am a beast a monster who follows orders unless wanting punishment/death. I go through a portal and go towards whatever Europe is. I have one mission and one mission only. It was given to me by our masters i am to follow them. Once i leave i am told i am not allowed to go home. I am going to miss home. I live in a world where everything looks like whatever those insects on earth call "spectrum glasses." Everything is colorful and the only bad thing is everybody here at home is over serious about everything. I am a monster of a category six my brothers are of a category five level. I am the strongest in my family, i can fly away if in danger. My wings are stronger than what they call on "Earth Adamantium." Ive never been to this place called "Earth." None of my family has come back from "Earth." I'm guessing they are just having a really good time completing their missions. Me, My brothers, and sisters will be the next ones to go through the portal. I hear there are these things they call "Continents."  There are also these supposed things called "Oceans." These "Oceans" are filled with what the insects call "Water." Earth sounds like it's going to be a strange new home for me, my brothers, and my sisters. They tell us it's time to leave now, we stand in front of the portal about to go through. We all take one last look around because even if we do pass our missions we will never be coming home. We hear one of the others yell hurry and go take the jump. We jump in i jump first then my brothers then my sisters. My whole body feels as if it is burning! A ferocious roar leaves my mouth as i come through the portal fire explodes out of my mouth lighting these metal beasts on fire they don't burn it just surrounds them then dissipates. Stinger and Claw Ripper are surrounded by these beasts their are three of them and only Claw Ripper and Stinger. Marcantross and Minya follow me, they swim under the water towards the continent and i open my wings and fly i hear Claw Rippers scream as i watch these metal beasts kill him. I hope there are not any of these metal beasts where i am headed otherwise today will be the last day they live to see. Marcantross lets out a boisterous roar as she hears Stingers call for help. My brothers have failed their mission so now we are going to be having some very hard times. This war is one we will win. My brothers mission was to destroy those metal beasts he destroys two then the third destroys him. Marcantross bellows a roar and the ocean waves get to 100ft tall and rising. I tell her in the language only we understand that she needs to calm down and go do her mission. She stops and heads for the continent i have heard in my short time here is called Eurasia. I guess it is The continent Asia and Europe together its amazing the language these insects have. They apparently have many different ones but the main one i hear is what the insects call "English." I get to the continent they like to call "North America." My mission is to wipe it out. i must do my job i start wrecking these huge things called "buildings." I watch Marcantross and Minya destroying their continents. Two metal beasts are right now attacking Marcantross she will fail if she does not destroy them. A metal beast attacks me and i beat it quickly and easily there was a glowing thing on the front of it in the middle.
       Three days later!
We destroyed everything Minya are the ones who saved and destroyed this world the insects were destroying it and we managed to save it. Our masters made it our new home the metal beasts with insects in them keep coming back to fight but guess what there are fewer and fewer of the now and so this crazy world known as "Earth" it is our home. Our brand new home i will miss my old home but this one is full of newer more interesting things i love exploring with my sister Minya. We never did see our parents in this new home maybe they are like the countless of others who have just disappeared over time because of those metal beasts.

Updates and The Monster

so by next weekend i will hopefully have posted a new story. Im sorry I have not posted in a while but please bare with me school needed me more than my blog. im juggling 3 stories at once. I know your probably thinking wow is that possible, well yes it is I have a booklet I keep all my character names and detailed character details in it along with the story they are from. I just started a new story called The Monster, yes original,totally its based off pacific rim but my challenge to you all is to see who's point of view this story is in it will be kind of hard to write this one but oh well Challenge Accepted! lol Enjoy!